Mechanical Misfit Gifts

"John isn't very mechanical."

'I had to bring your car back, it was beyond repair.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

Dating site - buy a dog.

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"My parents hate it."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

'Okay, so we went over the top with it, but our PR team said it would generate a lot of buzz.'

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Bad fund manager