Fitness Misfit Gifts

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

"Mental note to self: rethink theory of survival of the fittest."

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I know it's my third doughnut, but it's okay. I'm using the Pilates method of dunking.'

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

Impersonal Trainer.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

Wait, I think I'm doing this backward.

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

"Alright cowards, now put your peloton on a stairmaster and get into a lap pool!"

'I don't fit where I belong.'