Medical Misfit Gifts

'Okay, so we went over the top with it, but our PR team said it would generate a lot of buzz.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

The Island of Misfit Pants

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."