Medicine Misfit Gifts

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Water: the first medicine

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'No, no, the pills don't have any medication to improve your balance. You'll just get steadier on your feet by trying to catch pills that are thrown to you.'

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

Dating site - buy a dog.

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

'I need to depox.'