Organizational Joker Gifts

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

'No,he isn't our founder. The picture came with the frame.'

"Can I just run this one by you, PJ?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"Remind me again, is it Accounting or IT that handles issues related to online solitaire?"

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"Now you can send it."