Corporate Joker Gifts

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Time for your annual performance rating, Fenwick. Take one step forward.'

'It worked. We expressed remorse, asked for forgiveness and sales are up sixty percent.'

'Welcome to our Annual 'The Sales Goals Are Delusional' Party.'

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

"Care for a merger?"

'It's part of our new staff retention policy!'

'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

"I told you it would be a mistake linking directors' pay to profits."

Head Hunting.

"We need to lighten the boat. You're a good team player. Aren't Marcia?"

"He's our ideas man - I can never tell if he's working or not."

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

Little did Fred know that he was igniting a corporate paper wad fight that would eventually cost the company 629 million in lost production time and force the closure of 21 branch offices.

"We've consulted widely amongst ourselves and decided that after giving ourselves a fairly dierce grilling that we were probably right all along!"

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"He gives our company a million pounds of orders each year, so he can play anyway he pleases."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

"Yes, I'll accept your proposal of marriage Wilson. But you still don't get the promotion."

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

'I'm tired of flirting with success - I want it to commit.'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

Playing cricket in office "Miss lemon, I'm your boss, this is my company and you're out, okay!"

When we said we wanted you to have more fun training we didn't mean THAT much fun.

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

'Drop a tennis ball and watch what happens.'

'On second thought, I think I'll have the stick.'

'And now, Mr. X will present our hidden agenda.'

'Yes, we're completely family-owned and operated... in India.'

Poster saying THINK

So you're the new hire. Everyone calls me Pete. You can call me Sir.

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'