Organizational Jester Gifts

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

Annotated Org Chart

'You're security!'

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

When Sales and Marketing Do Not Communicate

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"I hate performance review season."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'What's wrong now?'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'