Organizational Jester Pillows

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

Annotated Org Chart

'You're security!'

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

When Sales and Marketing Do Not Communicate

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"I hate performance review season."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'What's wrong now?'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Career Choices

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'