Organic Jester Pillows

'The man at the wine shop said this wine was made without any harmful chemicals, so I added them myself.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Bad Interview Technique

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

Never poke fun.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

Thanks to a generous grant from the oil companies, scientists discover the real reason glaciers are melting.

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"