Mechanical Jester Pillows

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Bad Interview Technique

Tennis ball girl.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'Make sport of the Queen.'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

Never poke fun.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"How would I know what 'the meaning of life' is...? I was hoping you were mountain rescue!"