Tech Jester Pillows

"I'm using your wifi."

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'You realize you're upsetting a very fragile ecosystem.'

'Can I call you back? I'm going into a tunnel.'

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Unibrowser

"The emperor has no phone!"

Off-line Between 2 - 3 pm.

Miss World/Mister World/PC World.

'We're doing batch uploads today.'

"I think it's a computer virus."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Hardware and software

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Bad Interview Technique

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'