Techno-jester Pillows

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Hardware and software

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Practice random turn signals & senseless acts of braking.

"But officer. I wasn't texting. I was `sexting`."

Now entering new york city... move it, a*****e!

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"Are you sure this is how you get Twitter verified?"

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

Texting Rodeo Clown

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"