Technology Jesters Pillows

'I never should have downloaded that Mafia ring tone.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I hate performance review season."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

Cow Printer

'I ran with them once.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"I'll have my people call your people."

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

Work/Life Balance.

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

I'd like to check my e-mail...