Technology Jesters Pillows

'I never should have downloaded that Mafia ring tone.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I hate performance review season."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Giggle.

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Oh, about your theory - Heisenberg thinks he's found a loophole.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

'I ran with them once.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Cow Printer

Work/Life Balance.

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."