Tech-savvy Jesters Pillows

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I hate performance review season."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

"Can you please just pay the two gold to remove the ads?"

Cow Printer

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'I ran with them once.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"I'll have my people call your people."