Internet Jester Pillows

Bad Interview Technique

Cyber crime.

"Internet's fine to me."

'For the last time, this isn't that kind of web and I don't have any funny pictures of cats!'

Reading comments about something you post online.

Computer clown.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Last month, I offended 367 people on social media..."

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Hardware and software

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

A baby in court

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'