Tech Joker Pillows

"But officer. I wasn't texting. I was `sexting`."

"Are you sure this is how you get Twitter verified?"

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Intelligent people laugh too!

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"He was just hanging about in the shed, so I had him repurposed."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Fittd shēt

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"I think you should hire me for my vast software knowledge. . . and then pay for me to go learn software."

Prisoner still life painting.

Vacation Mobile

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

'The problem seems to be in the memory bank.'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

"You're on mute."

Cyberwarfare

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Turnkey Totalitarianism

'I was told it required a log-in...'

'Just give me the computer password, Marie. I won't put any more embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook.'

Party Schools...

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.