Domestic Tech Jester Pillows

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

Hardware and software

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Have you been fiddling with the cuckoo clock again, Tony?"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Nanopsychiatry.

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Angler's bait

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'What's up? She been rearranging your shed again?'

Texting Rodeo Clown

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

'That's your solution to everything, isn't it? Throw a bucket of glitter over it.'

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

Cyber crime.