Organic Vendor Gifts

"Are you sure no pesticides were used?"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

But is it organic?

Politically Correct Snowperson

All Natural Nothing

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

At the market

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'Is it organic?'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Heart Disease Menu

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"Oh, that poor thing."

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'