Optometry Lover Pillows

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

Hospital Departments

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

The latest in Eyewear.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'