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'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Lost. Readi

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Love is Blind.

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Pirate eye test

In his old days Superman's x-ray vision declined, but it still worked as a TV remote.

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Hospital Departments

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'He's all eyes!'

'It's Blurred.'

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