Online Educators Gifts

'Wow, I didn't know online universities needed cheerleaders.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Campaign for Plain English

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Pajama Day 743

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

The Evolution Of Man.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

"I'm worried that Ud isn't evolving as quickly as the other kids."

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

Turning around - searching for why hate happens.