Digital Educators Gifts

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Computer Room.

Campaign for Plain English

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

The Evolution Of Man.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"You're never too old to learn..."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"