Oliver Twist Fan Gifts

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Sand danger

Fire door.

Ricochet

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"More please."

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

An expedition to get ice for the party.

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

Ssshhh!!!!! - Lover and burgler trying to keep quite

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Earthworm Stampede

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

Noah's dove returns with a plunger.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

"You will be visited by three spirits, and no, they will not speed things up with a joint Power Point presentation."

Limerick of the day.

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

It suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't the tuesday night bridge meeting. (Man about to play Russian roulette).

"Hey! It was supposed to be a hare."

'Your starter, sir.'

"Finally a bit of good luck..."

The next diet fad.

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

'Wow! You really turned from a frog into a prince! That's great, now I've got much longer legs to eat!'

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'