Humorous Twist Fan Gifts

"Can you make it purr when I pet it?"

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Sand danger

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Fire door.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

An expedition to get ice for the party.

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

Ssshhh!!!!! - Lover and burgler trying to keep quite

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

'Oh, good - you brought The Broom of Honesty, Dignity and Self Respect.'

"Okay, hold really still..."

Every Easter the chickens would play the same old joke on Farmer Brown

Earthworm Stampede

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Humpty Dumpty and the forgotten cow.

Noah's dove returns with a plunger.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

"What are you doing?!"

"You will be visited by three spirits, and no, they will not speed things up with a joint Power Point presentation."

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

It suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't the tuesday night bridge meeting. (Man about to play Russian roulette).

'Your starter, sir.'

"Hey! It was supposed to be a hare."

"Finally a bit of good luck..."

'Wow! You really turned from a frog into a prince! That's great, now I've got much longer legs to eat!'