Unexpected Twist Fan Gifts

"WOW, You really are the best man."

What's going on here? I was just practicing a few of my moves until you got back. Grrr

Earthworm Stampede

'A message from the barbarians, sire. They don't want to lay siege. They just want to shoot some hoops.'

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

'I don't go out much since I lost Rex.'

Sand danger

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

Mugging.

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Fire door.

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

An expedition to get ice for the party.

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

We discovered the original background during an x-ray. Ice cream.

A horse driving a sports car tows an Amish buggy.

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

"You will be visited by three spirits, and no, they will not speed things up with a joint Power Point presentation."

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

'The prince kissed the frog when it didn't turn into a beautiful princess he had frog legs for dinner.'

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.