Oliver Twist Fan Pillows

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Sand danger

Fire door.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"More please."

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

An expedition to get ice for the party.

Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

Ssshhh!!!!! - Lover and burgler trying to keep quite

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

Earthworm Stampede

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

Limerick of the day.

It suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't the tuesday night bridge meeting. (Man about to play Russian roulette).

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

'Your starter, sir.'

"Finally a bit of good luck..."

The next diet fad.

'Wow! You really turned from a frog into a prince! That's great, now I've got much longer legs to eat!'

"Hey! It was supposed to be a hare."

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

'A message from the barbarians, sire. They don't want to lay siege. They just want to shoot some hoops.'