Ironic Twist Fans Pillows

Meet Sexy Cougars

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

The Final Selfie

Fire door.

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

An expedition to get ice for the party.

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"I think he must have had a death wish"

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

Noah's dove returns with a plunger.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

Man hanging by chains in dungeon, arrow in chest with message saying: 'Help is at hand.'

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.

'Have you started you Christmas Swiping yet?'

'Unfortunately the 'motivational speaker' we'd booked couldn't be bothered to turn up.'

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

U2's Bono named in Paradise papers tax scandal

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

'Don't anthropomorphize.'

Out of Ice.

Government admits failure on child poverty reduction.

'Excuse me, have you got a coat hanger? I'm locked out of my car.'

'Your starter, sir.'

'Wow! You really turned from a frog into a prince! That's great, now I've got much longer legs to eat!'

"Hey! It was supposed to be a hare."

It suddenly dawned on him, this wasn't the tuesday night bridge meeting. (Man about to play Russian roulette).

'I bought a wireless, reading glasses locator, but I can't find it without my glasses.'