Ironic Twist Lovers Pillows

'Tarpits are so passe. Modern Hell offers people a choice between wind turbines or High Speed 2 in their back yards.'

"See I told you electing Trump would create jobs!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

The Final Selfie

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

"The back flip was a nice touch."

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

"I think he must have had a death wish"

'You called a plumber!'

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

"I'm just doing this until I can break into accounting."

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

We discovered the original background during an x-ray. Ice cream.

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

Hansel and Gretal.

The modern version.

"Aye, Arthur were kitchen sink before all them young lads in the sixties."

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.

'Unfortunately the 'motivational speaker' we'd booked couldn't be bothered to turn up.'

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'