Ironic Twists Pillows

'When he said he loved going to Wendy's, I just assumed fast food...'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

The Final Selfie

Gigolo Diary

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

'What are you implying?'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

"I think he must have had a death wish"

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

Rattle Snake in Love with Baby

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"I'm on break, getting a hot dog...guy in front of me drops dead...heart attack!!..........guess who they blame?"

A fisherman is hooked on the beach.

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

"Aye, Arthur were kitchen sink before all them young lads in the sixties."

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

'Unfortunately the 'motivational speaker' we'd booked couldn't be bothered to turn up.'

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.

Three pigs sit down to eat roast wolf

'Woho! Chicken soup.'

"Damn it, Maureen! You just don't break up a winning combination!"

Pilgrim and Turkey in Stocks.

Sheep Pranks.

Surprise at the Pearly Gates.

'...And then I was betrayed by my trust fund.'

Take a ride with the reaper.

Firing squad. Condemned man with blindfolded guide dog.

They decided to settle out of court.

Warning contains Nuts

"Damn—we just missed him."

Meet Sexy Cougars