Old Testament Gifts

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Under Noah's Ark

Moses on skateboard at the Red Sea

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

Moses on a park bench

Moses separating his Laundry.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Joseph and his coat

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Horseshoes...Samson-style

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"Is there an audio edition?"

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

Noah's Nark.