Office Survivors Gifts

'And this is Mr Whittingstall...He's in charge of compliance.'

They say you can't go home again. They ought to know. They own the company.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Working hours.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"I feel your pain."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

Late/Too Late.

In and Out Tray

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

The Buck Never Stops.

Between Offices

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"