Office Improvement Gifts

"Is there anything ELSE we can do to improve the workstations?"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

That shows business confidence.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'Dog eat dog.'

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"I'll take your request for an office with a sunny spot into consideration."

"Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Barksdale, but you're scheduled to take time out to smell the roses."

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

'Our CEO's philosophy is that a happy environment means a happy bottom line.'

Desk shaped like an office block.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

'Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.'