Office Improvements Gifts

"We're allowed to hang-up artificial windows now to make our cubicles feel more like home."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Lumbar support animal

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

InIn by-products.

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

Man on beach blowing up an inflatable office.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

"I'll take your request for an office with a sunny spot into consideration."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

Workload management.