Offbeat Christmas Fan Gifts

Castaways at Christmas

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Santa's wash day.

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

Last week, stingy caf

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

'Santa's blotto.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'I'll bet my Dad's pants are bigger than yours.'

It's a girl!

Rudolph's Half Brother - Dumas the Red Assed Reinmule.

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

'Hear you're big in logistics.'

Santa gets a ticket

Four Calling Birds - Smartphones sales boost Christmas spending.

'He said yes to everything. He's not as bottom line as Dad is.'

"It's a great feeling to be able to give someone good news for a change..."

'I put hopeless at Christmas shopping into a search engine and your name came up!'