Quirky Holiday Fan Gifts

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Open House of Horrors

Would you make up your mind? I can't keep letting you in and out all day.

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Never give a cow a giant straw.

'You should work for Conglomo. You're allowed the vegetable of your choice.'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

Millionaire trapped in the body of a bum. Please help correct the situation. ?

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop

"We're out of flowers."

'We only have one brand of beer, but we've got six kinds of flavor straws.'

French Animal Noises.

Toast kidnapper.

Crossword bathroom tiles.

Cat gets caught eating the cuckoo from a cuckoo clock.

"Ever since I said I liked creative ties, things have gotten out of hand around here."

101 uses of a dead cat: toilet brush

The Booger.

This is why I don't eat spiders on a first date.

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

House for Sale.

'I stopped you so I could find out where you got that great outfit.'

'Mr. Pennrose isn't so bad...when he gives someone a pink slip, he always draws a smiley face on it.'