Holiday Fan With A Twist Gifts

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'Santa's blotto.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

Castaways at Christmas

'Are you the guy who ate my brother?'

Why are direction signs always so bad?

'Am I next?'

"Yes, I'm given all the credit in the song, but to be honest, we could not have done it without Timmy's radar navigation skills..."

Christmas Star

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

'where do you plug it in?'

"Apparently, every Christmas he'd take the tree out of storage and add a few more ornaments!"

"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names..."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

"So,as the advert says, we are looking for someone large with a lot of presence."

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

"I thought you only came once a year."

'Okay I know he's Santas little helper but this is getting ridiculous!'

"You've broken half me solar panels, ya t***a!"

Santa is rescued from a desert island that is scattered with bones and reindeer skulls.

'I just love Christmas!'

Christmas Lights

A Centipede's Christmas

"Oh, put that blasted cell phone away."