Holiday Fan With A Twist Pillows

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

Easter Candy Island.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

101 uses of a dead cat: parrot stand.

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'Santa's blotto.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

Santa, please take a photo of yourself with our presents so I can post it on my Facebook. Thanks! XOXO

'Are you the guy who ate my brother?'

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

Why are direction signs always so bad?

Castaways at Christmas

'Am I next?'

Christmas Star

"Yes, I'm given all the credit in the song, but to be honest, we could not have done it without Timmy's radar navigation skills..."

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

'where do you plug it in?'

"Apparently, every Christmas he'd take the tree out of storage and add a few more ornaments!"

"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names..."

Reindeer with mounted Santa and elf hunting trophies

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

"So,as the advert says, we are looking for someone large with a lot of presence."

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

Santa is rescued from a desert island that is scattered with bones and reindeer skulls.

"You've broken half me solar panels, ya t***a!"

'Okay I know he's Santas little helper but this is getting ridiculous!'

"I thought you only came once a year."

A Centipede's Christmas

Christmas Lights

'I just love Christmas!'