Nostalgic Holiday Fan Pillows

"Oh, put that blasted cell phone away."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Gilbert! Here's Mamma!"

'Another artisanal B&B.'

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

"I love your shadow, it's so retro."

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

Why are direction signs always so bad?

Christmas Star

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

Castaways at Christmas

'I think Miss Jones is winning her fight against computerisation, gentlemen!'

"It's a great feeling to be able to give someone good news for a change..."

'where do you plug it in?'

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names..."

"So,as the advert says, we are looking for someone large with a lot of presence."

'That's what I like, a good old fashioned Christmas.' (sign in window reads 'Out now - Do They Know It's Christmas!')

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

"I thought you only came once a year."

"You've broken half me solar panels, ya t***a!"

'I remember when we used to have to watch one football game at a time.'

Christmas Lights

'Peace on Earth!'

Smoking Jackets.

'Of course, I remember when we had to make do with just 3.2 megapixels...'

'Congratulations! I'm giving you the sack!'

Happy Xmas

"Santa has his sleigh. I have to hippity-hop to my deliveries!"