Ironic Holiday Fan Gifts

'Peace on Earth!'

"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names..."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Santa's blotto.'

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"Okay, hold really still..."

'Oh, good - you brought The Broom of Honesty, Dignity and Self Respect.'

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

"Yes, I'm given all the credit in the song, but to be honest, we could not have done it without Timmy's radar navigation skills..."

"Give the little bastards what they want!"

Christmas Star

"I should have known when they started letting kids at the mall sit in the lap of someone dressed up as Jeff Bezos."

'Am I next?'

Castaways at Christmas

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

'where do you plug it in?'

Typical, isn't it?

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

"So,as the advert says, we are looking for someone large with a lot of presence."

"Apparently, every Christmas he'd take the tree out of storage and add a few more ornaments!"

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

"You've broken half me solar panels, ya t***a!"

'Okay I know he's Santas little helper but this is getting ridiculous!'

"I thought you only came once a year."

Santa is rescued from a desert island that is scattered with bones and reindeer skulls.

Sleeping on the job.

Christmas Lights