Ironic Holiday Fan Gifts

'Peace on Earth!'

"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names..."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Easter Candy Island.

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Santa's blotto.'

"Okay, hold really still..."

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

'Oh, good - you brought The Broom of Honesty, Dignity and Self Respect.'

A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.

"Give the little bastards what they want!"

'Am I next?'

"Yes, I'm given all the credit in the song, but to be honest, we could not have done it without Timmy's radar navigation skills..."

"I should have known when they started letting kids at the mall sit in the lap of someone dressed up as Jeff Bezos."

Christmas Star

Castaways at Christmas

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

'where do you plug it in?'

"So,as the advert says, we are looking for someone large with a lot of presence."

Typical, isn't it?

"Apparently, every Christmas he'd take the tree out of storage and add a few more ornaments!"

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

Santa crawling out of log burning stove.

Santa is rescued from a desert island that is scattered with bones and reindeer skulls.

"You've broken half me solar panels, ya t***a!"

"I thought you only came once a year."

'Okay I know he's Santas little helper but this is getting ridiculous!'