Twisted Holiday Fans Gifts

Reindeer with mounted Santa and elf hunting trophies

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Sand danger

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

Easter Candy Island.

Mice 25¢

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Santa's blotto.'

Tequila Mocking Bird

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

Earthworm Stampede

"I'm not sure what kind of luck this is."

Snowman shoots another with a hairdryer.

Santa, please take a photo of yourself with our presents so I can post it on my Facebook. Thanks! XOXO

Snow Shaker.

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'

Christmas Star

"I said mouth open wide. . . not eyes open wide."

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

"It's time to give up the cheese dream, Bryan. My parents bought us a hole in the wall in Jersey full of bird seed and breadcrumbs."

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

Captain Pointy No.54 - Bad head puncture

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'That's what I like, a good old fashioned Christmas.' (sign in window reads 'Out now - Do They Know It's Christmas!')

Rabbit using the condom machine.