Holiday Fans Gifts

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Santa's wash day.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

"How can Santa eat all those cookies and drink all that milk in one night? Well, like everything else when it comes to Santa, it's magic. . ."

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"Would it make life easier if I just ordered my presents online and sent you the bill?"

"I know when they are sleeping, I know when they're awake..."

'Thanks for the onesie!'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

Five Gold Rings