Holiday Season Fan Gifts

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Santa's wash day.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"Would it make life easier if I just ordered my presents online and sent you the bill?"

"I know when they are sleeping, I know when they're awake..."

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

'Thanks for the onesie!'

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

It's a girl!

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'