Festive Season Fans Gifts

"I'll never understand grown ups. They make you go back to school the day after New Year, then wonder what causes post-holiday doldrums."

Alien Santa

"I love these old decorations!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Easter Candy Island.

Meet Santa's entourage

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

Ring those Christmas bells!

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Back to the Holidays

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

"Of course I was speeding - how else am I going to visit billions of households in one night?!"

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

"Dude, last night was nuts."

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

Santa Claus

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

'I knew I should have used mistletoe instead of catnip.'

How many times have I told you not to leave it running?

Christmas reunions!

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

'Don't forget your thermos.'

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

inflation at Christmas

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

'Thanks for the onesie!'

Easter Bunny Pushing Father Christmas Out The Way.

"How can Santa eat all those cookies and drink all that milk in one night? Well, like everything else when it comes to Santa, it's magic. . ."

"Would it make life easier if I just ordered my presents online and sent you the bill?"

'Rats!!...Socks!!...Again!!'

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

"I know when they are sleeping, I know when they're awake..."