Twisted Holiday Fans T-Shirts

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Sand danger

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Mice 25¢

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'Santa's blotto.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

Earthworm Stampede

Snowman shoots another with a hairdryer.

"I asked you nicely to stay in the waiting room."

"I'm not sure what kind of luck this is."

Tequila Mocking Bird

Christmas Star

Snow Shaker.

'What d'you see?!? What d'you see?!?'

"I said mouth open wide. . . not eyes open wide."

Hell's angel Santa riding reindeer like a moterbike

"Apparently, every Christmas he'd take the tree out of storage and add a few more ornaments!"

'She's dead alright. The question is: did she jump, or was she pushed?'

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'That's what I like, a good old fashioned Christmas.' (sign in window reads 'Out now - Do They Know It's Christmas!')

Men at a party presented with a wrinkly old lady wearing a '2nd class post' sign

"It's time to give up the cheese dream, Bryan. My parents bought us a hole in the wall in Jersey full of bird seed and breadcrumbs."

Captain Pointy No.54 - Bad head puncture

Rabbit using the condom machine.