Nostalgic Christmas Fan Gifts

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Santa's wash day.

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

"I love Boxing Day"

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Last week, stingy caf

'I said shag carpeting.'

"I love your shadow, it's so retro."

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Santa's blotto.'

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

Rudolph's Half Brother - Dumas the Red Assed Reinmule.

It's a girl!

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

Pub quiz night. Man says 'Oh no, look who's in ..' Three Wise Men sit at adjacent table.

'I'll bet my Dad's pants are bigger than yours.'

'Hear you're big in logistics.'