Old-fashioned Christmas Fans Gifts

'That's what I like, a good old fashioned Christmas.' (sign in window reads 'Out now - Do They Know It's Christmas!')

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

Colonial Larrysburg.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Santa's wash day.

Easter Candy Island.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

Dead animal toupee.

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

Last week, stingy caf

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

'I don't enjoy 'this little piggy' all that much, but my Dad gets a kick out of it.'

'I'll bet my Dad's pants are bigger than yours.'

Rudolph's Half Brother - Dumas the Red Assed Reinmule.

It's a girl!

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'

"And the boss says to enjoy the fruitcake."