Classic Christmas Fan Gifts

Why are direction signs always so bad?

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"I love these old decorations!"

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

Meet Santa's entourage

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Ring those Christmas bells!

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

"Previously on..."

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

Christmas reunions!

"Dude, last night was nuts."

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

'Rats!!...Socks!!...Again!!'

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

inflation at Christmas