Classic Christmas Fan Gifts

Why are direction signs always so bad?

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"I love these old decorations!"

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

Meet Santa's entourage

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Ring those Christmas bells!

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

Lorne Greene

"Dude, last night was nuts."

"Previously on..."

Christmas reunions!

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

'Rats!!...Socks!!...Again!!'

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

inflation at Christmas