Odds Ponderers Gifts

Mon - Fri. 8 - 5. Sat. - Sun. 10 - 3. I wonder why the odds change on weekends.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'You may feel lost and insignificant at first working for us.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

"Woah - random!"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

Jealousy

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

The Hole that Divides

"The lack of perspective kills me..."

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

"It used to be called pensions."

"Let's face it, you could back the wrong horse in a one-horse race!"

'Okay, who spilled the beans to that Darwin guy?'

Sales at the Yo-Yo Co.