Prediction Ponderer Gifts

"You may be right about the trade deficit, but you're dead wrong about the weather."

"The end is near." "The end is far."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Now here's a simple formula to help you determine how accurate my predictions are likely to be.'

'It's the psychic network returning the call you plan to make tomorrow.'

70 chance of returning in 45 min.

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

Max Weber

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

business

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"