Prediction Ponderer Prints

"You may be right about the trade deficit, but you're dead wrong about the weather."

"The end is near." "The end is far."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Now here's a simple formula to help you determine how accurate my predictions are likely to be.'

'It's the psychic network returning the call you plan to make tomorrow.'

70 chance of returning in 45 min.

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

Max Weber

business

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'I say we try it.'